04. 23_Home work_[이름]
학생이 쓴 원문
I agree with the argument which is provided in my feedback. Most of the ous are living in a capitalism society. In a capitalist society, social status and possessions are the most valuable factors. In many cases, wealth and social status ensure many things such as money, power, and success. Because these values realize people\'s desires, a lot of people think that values are more important than old-fashion values such as honor, kindness, and trust. I agree with the opinion, however, old-fashion values are still crucial to our lives. Old-fashion values make our lives more enjoyable and happy.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Thank you for your composition tonight.
Please take note of the proper form of adjectives and their proper usage.
You expressed yourself with the proper structure of sentences.
In the coming days, we will focus on more terms that you can use both in speaking and in writing.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I agree with the argument which is provided in my feedback. >> I agree with the argument which was provided in my feedback.
Most of the ous are living in a capitalism society.
>> Most of us are living in a society ruled by capitalism.
In a capitalist society, social status and possessions are the most valuable factors.
>> Correct
In many cases, wealth and social status ensure many things such as money, power, and success.
>> Correct
Because these values realize people\'s desires, a lot of people think that values are more important than old-fashion values such as honor, kindness, and trust.
>> Because these values realize people\'s desires, a lot of people think that such are more important than old-fashioned values like honor, kindness, and trust.
I agree with the opinion, however, old-fashion values are still crucial to our lives.
>> I agree with the opinion, however, old-fashioned values are still crucial in our lives.
Old-fashion values make our lives more enjoyable and happy.
>> Old-fashioned values make our lives more enjoyable and happy.
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