Cimer swim[이름]g pool
학생이 쓴 원문
I went to Cimer inceon swim[이름]g pool with my mother\'s friends son. The swim[이름]g pool I was going was a famous swim[이름]g pool for good services. When I enter the swim[이름]g pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn\'t have thrill so it was little bit boring.ㅡafter we played at swim[이름]g pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. We went to the most hot place and many other place. And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. It was really fun
강사 첨삭
Good day, Jude! Good to know that you spent time with your mom\'s friend\'s son in the swim[이름]g pool. It seems like you really had a good time at the pool. I\'m looking forward to hearing and reading more of your composition. Take care always. We will talk more in class. I will see you then!~ T. Lyn
I went to Cimer inceon swim[이름]g pool with my mother\'s friends son.
>>My mother\'s friend\'s son and I went to Cimer Incheon Swim[이름]g Pool.
The swim[이름]g pool I was going was a famous swim[이름]g pool for good services.
>>The swim[이름]g pool I went to was famous for its good service.
When I enter the swim[이름]g pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there.
>>When I got into the pool, I just jumped into the main pool and played there.
And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide.
>>And my younger brother, who was the 5th grade, went to go on the water slide.
There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone.
>>There were two waterslides and we rode them together.
It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn\'t have thrill so it was little bit boring.
>>It was fun but it wasn\'t scary or thrilling so its was a bit boring.
ㅡafter we played at swim[이름]g pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room.
>>After we played at the swim[이름]g pool, we went to the Jimjill room where there is a hot and cold room.
We went to the most hot place and many other place.
>>We went to the hottest place and in many other places.
And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour.
>>And one room was so comfortable that I slept for about an hour.
It was really fun
>>It was very enjoyable.
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