homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Last week with my friend, some sneakers caught my eyes it was at Jamsil Lotte World Mall.
I was just looking for unique shoes which not many people wear.
So I walked through almost every floor of the mall, checking out different shoe stores.
Finally I found the color bright blue, almost neon, and the shape was pretty unusual.
It was exactly what I was looking for. I asked staff if they had my size, and they told me they only had one pair left in stock. Honestly, when I heard that, I had to make a decision right away. Actually I couldn’t help buying it.
Now I wear these shoes about five times a week.
A few of my friends even asked me where I got them, which made me satisfied with the choice.
강사 첨삭
Hello, Ji[이름]!
Thank you for sending this answer once again. For the opening sentence, the series of how your transition word, noun, verb, and object need to appear have to be in proper sequence. That entails clarity and organization. Otherwise, your message may not be well-understood.
For the rest of your discussion, the ideas flowed smoothly. Your example is so detailed, I knew it was honed to perfection.
Keep up the very good work!
See you in class.
-T. Donna~
>> Correct!
Or: Some sneakers caught my eyes and my friend at Jamsil Lotte World Mall last week.
Or: Last week, some sneakers caught my eyes and my friend at Jamsil Lotte World Mall.
I was just looking for unique shoes which not many people wear.
So I walked through almost every floor of the mall, checking out different shoe stores.
Finally I found the color bright blue, almost neon, and the shape was pretty unusual.
It was exactly what I was looking for. I asked staff if they had my size, and they told me they only had one pair left in stock. Honestly, when I heard that, I had to make a decision right away. Actually I couldn’t help buying it.
I was just looking for unique shoes which not many people wear.
So I walked through almost every floor of the mall, checking out different shoe stores.
Finally I found the color bright blue, almost neon, and the shape was pretty unusual.
It was exactly what I was looking for. I asked staff if they had my size, and they told me they only had one pair left in stock. Honestly, when I heard that, I had to make a decision right away. Actually I couldn’t help buying it.
>> I was just looking for unique shoes which not many people wear.
So I walked through almost every floor of the mall, checking out different shoe stores.
Finally I found the color bright blue, almost neon, and the shape was pretty unusual.
It was exactly what I was looking for. I asked the staff if they had my size, and they told me they only had one pair left in stock. Honestly, when I heard that, I had to make a decision right away. Actually, I couldn’t help buying it.
Now I wear these shoes about five times a week.
A few of my friends even asked me where I got them, which made me satisfied with the choice.
So I walked through almost every floor of the mall, checking out different shoe stores.
Finally I found the color bright blue, almost neon, and the shape was pretty unusual.
It was exactly what I was looking for. I asked the staff if they had my size, and they told me they only had one pair left in stock. Honestly, when I heard that, I had to make a decision right away. Actually, I couldn’t help buying it.
Now I wear these shoes about five times a week.
A few of my friends even asked me where I got them, which made me satisfied with the choice.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.