Homework

2026-07-24 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I think earning a high salary more is important than job satisfaction. This is because salarymen work to make a living. Job satisfaction is important but it is not the only way to achieve happiness.

강사 첨삭

Happy Friday to you [이름]! Thanks for your essay. Well, overall, this is a clear and well-organized paragraph, but it would be more convincing with additional supporting details. Write more! Improve more! Have a wonderful day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I think earning a high salary more is important than job satisfaction.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I believe that earning a high salary is more important than having job satisfaction.

This is because salarymen work to make a living.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>>This is because most people work primarily to make a living and support themselves and their families.

Job satisfaction is important but it is not the only way to achieve happiness.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Although job satisfaction plays an important role in overall well-being, it is not the only source of happiness.

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