homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I have five gadgets from Apple. I have an iPhone, iPad, Apple watch, AirPods and a Mac. Among them, the phone is what I purchased most recently. I got it about two weeks ago, because my screen was totally cracked. My previous phone color was Silver, but this time I wanted to go with something darker, so I chose the Dip-Blue color. Also, the camera got a huge upgrade, which was a major selling point for me, since capturing beautiful moments in photos makes me happy. Owning all my devices from Apple comes with a nice per. I can transfer files with just one click using “Airdrops.” That’s honestly why I, and so many people, stick with Apple products.
강사 첨삭
Hi there, Ji[이름]!
Thank you for submitting your answer yesterday. This version has a concise introduction answering the question straight to the point and offers explanation broken down in the mid-discussion towards the conclusion.
Now that you have mastered better grammar and a higher level of vocabulary, it is time to work on your speed in beating the 90 second time frame.
Below are some spelling and punctuation mark suggestions. Kindly review and master the correct patterns. Overall, you did well on this answer.
See you soon.
-T. Donna~
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
My previous phone color was Silver, but this time I wanted to go with something darker, so I chose the Dip-Blue color. Also, the camera got a huge upgrade, which was a major selling point for me, since capturing beautiful moments in photos makes me happy.
>> My previous phone color was Silver, but this time I wanted to go with something darker, so I chose the Deep-Blue color. Also, the camera got a huge upgrade, which was a major selling point for me, since capturing beautiful moments in photos makes me happy.
Owning all my devices from Apple comes with a nice per. I can transfer files with just one click using “Airdrops.” That’s honestly why I, and so many people, stick with Apple products.
>> Owning all my devices from Apple comes with convenience/ interconnectivity. I can transfer files with just one click using “Airdrop.” That’s honestly why I and so many people, stick with Apple products.
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