HW 5.3
학생이 쓴 원문
I think Haeundae beach is the best summer attraction for swimming and other water activities. It can be easy to access this place from my place and other city because it\'s close to Busan station. Many foreigners are visiting there as a tourist attraction, so I can feel international atmosphere that I cant\' feel in Daegu.
But because of global warming, there are many jellyfishes there, so people are not going to the beach gradually.
I\'ve eaten raw fish anywhere in Busan, but after getting food posing two months ago, I will check reviews of restaurants before going.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름] [이름]!
I heard about Haeundae so many times from other students and they said they had pleasant experiences there. Truly, there is an international vibe and it is also convenient for tourists to access.
Just like any other beaches, it is not excluded in the effects of global warming as well as the influx of tourists.
Kindly review my underlined suggestions for your mastery. You did a great job!
See you later.
-T. Donna~
>>> I think Haeundae beach is the best summer attraction for swimming and other water activities. It can be easy to access this place from my place and other cities because it\'s close to the Busan station. Many foreigners are visiting there as it is a tourist attraction, so I can feel an international atmosphere that I cant\' feel in Daegu.
But because of global warming, there are many jellyfishes there, so people are not going to the beach gradually.
I\'ve eaten raw fish anywhere in Busan, but after getting food posing two months ago, I will check reviews of restaurants before going.
>>> But because of global warming, there are many jellyfish there, so people are not going to the beach gradually.
I\'ve eaten raw fish anywhere in Busan, but after getting food posing two months ago, I will check reviews of restaurants before going.파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.