School English ESSAY contest (help me..) - [이름]

Hi, [이름]! ^_^
Thank you for sending your essay over.
I have already checked it for you.
I hope this becomes really helpful for your presentation.
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See you again on Wednesday. :*
~Teacher Charry

Topic : If I have superhero\'s power
>> Topic : If I have a superhero power

If I could have a superhero\'s power, I want to do a teleport.

>> If I could have a superhero\'s power, I want to do teleportation.
Because if I can teleport, I can go to other place quickly.

>> It\'s because if I can teleport, I can go to other places quickly.

Also, I can go to school in a second.

>> CORRECT!

Then I can sleep more than usual.

>> In addition, I can sleep longer than usual.

The best thing I think is that I can go to other countries in a second. 

>> I think the best thing about it is that, I can go to other countries in a second. 
Second, I want to use telekinesis.

>> CORRECT!
Because If I can use it, my life wil be more comfortable.

>> It\'s because if I can use it, my life wil be more comfortable.

I can bring something without and movement.

>> I can bring something without any movement.

Example, when I want to use TV remote controler, I can get it while sitting on the sofa.

>> For example, when I want to use the TV remote controller, I can get it without moving from the sofa.
Superhero\'s power can cause good effects on society, too.

>> A superhero power can cause good effects on the society, too.
When I use teleport, I can escape of rescue other people who are in danger.

>> When I use teleportation, I can escape and rescue other people who are in danger.

When I use telekinesis, I can beat down the enemies, and I can punish criminals who can harm somebody.

>> CORRECT!
If I could have a superhero\'s power, I want to have teleport and telekinesis.

>> If I could have superhero powers, I want to have teleportation and telekinesis.

I will use them for socially and personally. 

>> I will use them personally and for the benefit of the society.
I will be a superhero for other people!
>> CORRECT!

BY. [이름]

>> BY: [이름]