The importance of family gathering
학생이 쓴 원문
I love family gatherings. My siblings all live nearby my place. We often gather if there\'s something special that is big or small. Just because a new restaurant open and we want to taste it or we all have free time on weekend, someone\'s birthday, traveling for a long time or returning from a long travel. There\'re so many reasons to meet each other. We\'re siblings as well as good friends. My nephews and beautiful nieces are important members of our family gatherings. They give energy and being fresh to our gatherings. Their stories are different with ours. Each has unique experiences and stories. I love listening them. Family gathering seems like a communication between the young and the elderly. Sometimes we go to a Noraebang(Korean Karaoke) entire family. My mom sing first, next my youngest sister or brother, after that my nieces turn. The songs are so different but we all echo and clap even dance together. 3 generations become one team at that moment. I feel we are family.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
Thank you once again for submitting your essay. It\'s really heartwarming to know about the closeness you have with your family. The family bond is really strong. ^^
I also made some corrections on some sentences so you may check them out. ^^
~ Teacher Gina
I love family gatherings.
>> CORRECT.
My siblings all live nearby my place.
>> CORRECT.
We often gather if there\'s something special that is big or small.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: We meet up frequently for occasions both big and small.
Just because a new restaurant open and we want to taste it or we all have free time on weekend, someone\'s birthday, traveling for a long time or returning from a long travel.
>> It could be because a new restaurant opens and we want to try it, or we all have free time on the weekend, or for birthdays, or when someone is leaving for or returning from a long trip.
There\'re so many reasons to meet each other.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: We have countless reasons to see one another.
We\'re siblings as well as good friends.
>> CORRECT.
My nephews and beautiful nieces are important members of our family gatherings.
>> CORRECT.
They give energy and being fresh to our gatherings.
>> They give energy and freshness to our gatherings.
Their stories are different with ours.
>> Their stories are different from ours.
Each has unique experiences and stories.
>> CORRECT.
I love listening them.
>> I love listening to them.
Family gathering seems like a communication between the young and the elderly.
>> A family gathering seems like a communication between the young and the elderly.
>> Or: Family gatherings feel like a way for the young and the elderly to communicate.
Sometimes we go to a Noraebang(Korean Karaoke) entire family.
>> Sometimes we go to a Noraebang (Korean Karaoke) as an entire family.
My mom sing first, next my youngest sister or brother, after that my nieces turn.
>> My mom sings first, then my youngest sister or brother, and after that, it\'s my niece\'s turn.
The songs are so different but we all echo and clap even dance together.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: The songs are so different from each other, but we all cheer and clap even dance together.
3 generations become one team at that moment.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: In those moments, three generations unite as one team.
I feel we are family.
>> CORRECT.
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